Boredom?

As wonderful and rewarding it is bringing up your little ones at home, sometimes, or shall I say quite often, it really is a tedious job.

My mornings are usually spent getting household chores done so I am ready to work in the afternoons when my two babies are asleep. Now my daughter loves being with me and always insists I play with her. It’s really sweet but it sometimes produces a battle of the wills. What is more important – playing dolls with Katie or … the ironing? Reading a story together or… mopping?

I do prioritise one-on-one time but it’s sometimes very hard to get Katie to play by herself after that. I hate to resort to TV or food and I know she will happily sit with these by herself. We go out a number of mornings during the week, however, once we’re home the whining begins.

Things need to get done but out of guilt I stop and just be with my daughter. She probably needs more attention now since baby Sam came into the picture. But I’m starting to notice (and I hate to say it) how bored I’ve become when I am playing with her and I’m kind of dismayed that the feeling is there almost all the time.I often find myself creating to-do lists in my head looking glazy-eyed at a jigsaw puzzle or staring through my son’s face while breastfeeding, counting down the hours when they will both be in bed so I can begin my “real” work. It's frustrating because when that time does come I am very tired and often in need of a nap myself.

Those baby days go by so quickly and I’m sad Katie is no longer a baby (ok that’s not entirely true). I looked forward to when she could crawl so I wouldn’t have to carry her as much, to when she’d stop breastfeeding so I could have my body (and extra time) back, to when she’d talk, be fully toilet-trained etc.

I don’t want to do the same to Sam. It’s great when they become more independent but they are truly babies for such a short time. I want to be able to treasure every moment without being bored, to give them my full attention without thinking of other things. One day I will learn how to do that.